Good evening all, I want to appreciate the ROTDOW team for the privilege of taking tonight’s webinar. We will be discussing the topic: “Children Expectations from Parents and Guardians”.

From the keyword in our lecture which are Children, Expectation and Parents, we need to ask, who is a Child? What do mean by Expectation? What is Parenting? When we talk about children expectation from their parent, it means needs and help that must be met for children to succeed.

Who is a child?  “National child welfare policy of 1989 defines a child as anybody who is 12yrs or below. However, a draft decree put into law has now set the child in Nigeria as 18yrs or below- UNICEF”. A parent is a caretaker or caregiver who can also influence the cognitive mind-set of their children thereby developing their social, thinking, emotional, and reasoning.

Children expectation from their parents are classified into: Physical, Mental and Spiritual Expectation. All expectations that a child needs are either summoned into one of aforementioned.

Physical Expectations

• Shelter: The word shelter is not just the provision of a place for protection but also a place where provisions for food is met. The food you provide should be beneficial to their growth and not harm them. Balanced diet food develops the child’s physical structure (body) as well as the brain which help in reasoning. A child that is hungry or that lack some nutrients might lack the ability to function well in academics.
• Security and a Good Serene Environment: Everyone loves to take shield under a safe haven, where there is no record of insecurity found. How much more the little ones. Lack of security is a threat to life, while poor environment is a threat to health and good lifestyle. Environment plays a big part in life, because it that’s where relationship are built.
• Exposure: The level of exposure we gain determines how much information we possess. Don’t just confine your children to an environment. Children like to explore, they want to go to parks, see movies at the cinema or visit tourist attraction. Most especially if you are financially buoyant you can take them abroad for vacation.
• Values and culture: Technological advancement and the influence of westernization in our country, has greatly affected the values and culture we inherited. Parents are not too sensitive about the cloth they wear, friends they make, the words they say and their body language. Our values and culture are far diminishing, now we see children shout back, walk out on their parent which is not meant to be. The values and culture you communicate to them determine their character and character is what single someone out of the crowd.

Mental Expectations
When we mention mental faculty, we talk about reasoning, emotions, feelings and will. The mind is in charge of the reasoning and will, while the heart takes charge of the emotions and feelings. Mental health is the effectiveness on how the mind, heart and soul is developed.

What is expected from our parent?

• Love: In our contemporary world, parents have substituted love for material satisfaction such as the sweets and the chocolates with games console provided for their children but actually is more than that. Love is expressed in words, deeds and actions. As a parent your family should be your utmost priority and not your Job, the sacrificial time for your availability at home spells out your love for them.
• Self-esteem and Confidence: How often do you commend or appreciate your child for a Job well done, no matter how little the task could be. Building a high self-esteem for your child puts confidence into their hearts in the sense that no matter the person or situation they face, they will never look to the ground ashamed. High self-esteem and confidence brings out their hidden potentials.
• Be a good mentor and motivator: A child should be proud that he/she wants to be like their parents. The bible says children are the heritage of God, therefore as a parent is your responsibility to cater, guide, lead them because they belong to God and you will give account. A mentor shares is experience with the mentees, in order to prevent them from falling into the same pitfalls, likewise do with them. Align their potentials with their ambitions in life. If a child knows how to sing or dance or act drama, he/she can as well study visual and performing arts in the university leading her to a good career and there by fulfilling God’s purpose. Help them to discover their purpose.
• Trust: From Merriam Webster dictionary, trust is the belief that someone or something is reliable, good, honest and effective. Trust is never gained once; trust is built over a period of time. Children look forward to parents who they can confide in with life issues, that’s why some children confide in an outsider, and this can open the door of vulnerability to the family because information is shared. In some families, an outsider knows about the well-being of a child than their parent. Dwell with them according to knowledge, for example, you can’t expect to treat a child that is 17yrs like a 12 yrs old because maturity has started taking place.
• Children don’t like to be compared: Children don’t like it when they are corrected or scolded by comparing someone to them either a sibling or an outsider. Maybe because a child failed an exam, you compared him to someone else who aced. You might think that’s the way for correction but you are actually building up envy or hatred in the child’s mind towards the other person. You can well say “if others can do this, I totally believe you can do it too” this been said in a constructive manner.

Spiritual Expectation
Parents are no more concerned about the spiritual aspects of their children. One of the best investment you can give a child is to help them develop a quality walk with God from a tender age through prayers and studying the word of God together. People who were great in the bible were recorded that they walked with God e.g. Noah, Enoch and Abraham. That is the reason we all can confess the blessings of Abraham because he walked with God.   God is the giver and you as a parent you are the receiver. God is intentional and purposeful in giving. Before he formed us he knew us all which means God knows the future. Seek God’s for the purpose and the destiny of the child on earth. If God has a purpose, then devil will definitely have too. It was recorded in book of Acts 13:36 that David served God’s purpose in his generation. Help your child in fulfilling God’s purpose

“Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads – Deuteronomy 6:7-8. NIV”.   I pray your children will God’s purpose in their generation.

Thank you.

Facilitated by Olajide Okikijesu, an undergraduate of Aerospace Engineering.