Parenting can be referred to as the intricacy of raising a child not necessarily your biological children. As humans, I always say that there are no perfect parents, but we can make effort to be the best of parents to our children. In this century, parenting is becoming more challenging due to so many factors. There is high rate of divorce in the society mostly because of bad upbringing. When a child does not have a good or proper upbringing, it will tell in his/her marital life in the future. When you raise a son that is not emotionally balanced, you are creating problem for his wife and subordinate’s tomorrow. It’s easier to build strong children than repair broken men.

I will like to refer to this scripture, Psalms 127:4. “As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man, so are children of the youth”. Arrows mouth are sharpened so that they can go far and also to hit their target. When an arrow is bent, it cannot move very far and it won’t be able to reach its destination. Likewise, children, if not properly guided and nurtured may not be able to fulfil their God given destiny. That is why a child’s foundation is very important to the parents.

Guidelines for good parenting

• Deep love and care for them

Love and care starts from make provisions for daily needs e.g. food, clothing, school materials (necessities not luxuries).
It’s so shameful when parents put their children in expensive schools but refuse to give them good food to school. Whenever I go to school to give a talk in schools, the teachers always tell me please help us to beg some of our parents to stop giving their children noodles to school every day. How do you expect that kind of a child to function well when there is no proper diet, all because the mother does not care? Some parents will prefer to buy aso-ebi than buy things needed by a child in school.
Each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children. To be in your children’s memories tomorrow, you have to be in their lives today.
To also show you care, you must be available as a parent. And availability is also about sacrifice. How often do you attend their school events, you have to sacrifice some outings just to be with your children.

A parent also need to be close to the children. Be interested in their matters. Learn to listen anytime they want to tell you something no matter how senseless it may be just listen because a day will come when the child may have something very important to say. Try and be their friend even on social media platform. It shows as a parent, you have to evolve, try and gist with them in your free time and also ask them about their school activities.

• Discipline
Discipline is a controlled behaviour. It is also a systematic method of obtaining obedience. But one thing is that you cannot discipline a child you don’t care for. Do not over pamper a child. when u over pamper a child, he/she become so spoilt that later in future the child finds it so hard to face life challenges. That is why the rate of suicide is getting higher in the society. A child that has never been exposed to any form or challenge or difficulties feels he/she can have everything and once he is grown and denied anything, he get depressed and thought of suicide comes in. Give your kids necessities and not luxuries.

• Be strict in decision making
When you make rules be firm about it so they can take you serious. I remember there was a time I needed to help my son with his school art project and I could not meet up with the submission date. So I told my son that he will submit the next day but he was pleading that I should follow him to school to talk to the teacher because she had said he will lose some marks if he did not meet up. He made a statement that I never forgot that “when my teacher says a thing, she means it”. It shows the kids know when we are serious with our decision or not. Correction is also very necessary when they make mistakes. Children are bound to make mistakes and also misbehave, but correct them immediately you notice any misbehavior. You do not have to wait till the time when you are angry and now overreact.

Let little ones learn to take their plates and clean after eating, and big ones do more tasking house work, let them learn to cook, so as not to give them problems in future. A lot of ladies have broken homes because they are very poor when it comes to home management. Parents should not leave house chores for maids alone if there is maid in the house. Personally I believe as your kids grow, you do away with maids if possible so that your children can learn more. It makes them more responsible and useful for themselves.

• Exemplary life
The best kind of parent you can is to lead by example. Parents must be a good example to the children. I discovered that what parents do make more impact than what parents say. The best kind of parent you can be is to lead by example. Parents must be a good example to the children. I discovered that what parents do make more impact than what parents say.
Parents are not supposed to use abusive or vulgar words in the presence of their children. Do not insult or gossip in their presence, it sticks to their brain. Some parents have the habit of insulting teachers in the presence of their kids, any time the child sees the teacher, the first thing that comes to the mind of the child is the words the parents use and this will have effect on them.

• Pray for your children always
I believe in prayers and it is very important for parents to always pray for their children. Thank God for their lives and also help them to fulfil their destinies through prayers. Like I said earlier, children are like arrows in our hands but so many arrows have been bent by society, broken homes, peer pressure, evil association, wicked forces and even finance thereby making them miss their target in life. So it’s very necessary for parents to always speak into the future of their children.

When it comes to parenting we learn every day. May God help us to be better parents. Thank you.

Facilitated by Mrs. Asake Ibiwumi.